What Empowers You?

Welcome back to A Tall Life everyone, I hope all has been well. I know the last time we got together we spoke on a really heavy topic that may be very uncomfortable for most, but regardless it was a conversation that needed to be had. This week has been a very eye opening one for me on so many levels; physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have had to come to terms that I am not at the place I wish to be mentally; I still have a lot of insecurities about my body. Just like many of the females out there we struggle to love ourselves and our body. We always end up judging ourselves on the what the world says we should look like. My question is why do we always think that we should follow the status quo? Why is it so hard for us to be unapologetically ourselves? What is wrong with being unique? In the end all I have to ask is what empowers you?

So, before we dive in too deep let’s understand the basics; let’s start off with the definition of empowerment. When you research the word empower or empowerment there will be two definitions that come up. The first definition said that empowerment is to have the authority or power given to someone to do something. The second definition states that empowerment is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. Now that we have two clear definitions in front of us, I can tell you that we will be focusing on the second definition, because this is the type of empowerment that cannot be found within someone else nor can it be given to you. The type of empowerment we will talk about comes from the fire the resides deep within you that gives you the power to keep striding forward to your dreams.

So, once again I ask you all…what empowers you? What gives you the energy to wake up every morning to start the day? What empowers and compels you to continue loving yourself? What gives you the confidence to be the person that you are today? Whatever type of style you have does it empower you? Do the clothes you wear make a big difference on how you see yourself? Does modesty empower you? Or does being confident in your body and being confident enough to show off some skin empower you? Do you feel shame when you show off your body? Do you feel shame when you cover your body? Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror naked or does the site of your body make you anxious? No matter what empowers you to have the confidence you do, make sure that it is something that you chose for yourself not something that was either pushed or forced upon you. Once that happens there is no telling how far you will be able to go, because that plays a huge role on you mentally when it comes to how you view your body.

If you can understand where I am coming from, became uncomfortable, or if those questions made you start thinking then I did my job. Growing up like many other tall females I have struggled to love my height, but along with struggling to love my height I also struggled to love my body. Growing up in a family where your body was obviously different from everyone else’s you start to feel a bit awkward and out of place. You start to wonder where your place is in the family, and how was it that the traits that everyone else clearly has skipped you. You start to compare your body to those in your family. Then on top of the self-hate you push onto yourself, your family starts to tell you their opinions on your body, how you should dress, what you need to cover up. No matter how many compliments they tried to give; the knowledge and memories of their judgements that was placed upon me was never washed off.

At a certain point growing up I started to hate my body. I felt as though that I was missing something; my butt wasn’t big like my other family members, my hips had an awkward shape, my legs were extremely long, and my arms were so long and lanky I never knew what to do with them. It got to the point where I hated looking at my body when I was naked, I felt like I looked awkward. Then I would always hear my family members share their opinions on the length of the skirts, and shorts that I wore, even though I couldn’t control how long my legs looked. Then on top of that it wasn’t easy being able to find clothes that actually fit my body and my height. So not only did I feel awkward on the inside, but I looked, liked it on the outside. In the end I decided to start dressing in really casual/ baggy clothes, I didn’t dress up or wear makeup. I stopped caring about my appearance to a certain extent, which wasn’t too hard because at this time I had started to play basketball, plus the schools I went to had a uniform dress code. All my time was spent on the basketball court or in school.

Fast forward to today, I am becoming very confident in the person that I am, I begin to love her more and more every day. My love for my height has grown so much over the years that it fills me with joy. When it comes to my body, that is where I still struggle the most. I can say that looking at myself in the mirror naked has become easier since I was young. I still have moments when I have negative thoughts but I try to redirect my mind when I do start to feel negativity overwhelm my body but sometimes, I can’t help but wonder. Compared to the person that I used to be a am very proud of myself and the journey that I have been on. The journey to self-love and acceptance of not just the physical but the mental aspects has been a long one, but it was a journey that was needed. Without this journey that I am currently on I would not be here today. Skye-Rose Designs would not be here, A Tall Life brand would not be here, nor any of the other many accomplishments I have been able to make due to the fact that my love for myself has gone up.

I am now thinking about myself more, and you can think that I’m being selfish, but I think that I am finally starting to care about myself. I am starting to take my mental, physical, and spiritual health as priority, because in the end I have to be the one that lives this life every day. I am the one who will have to suffer if I do not take myself as priority, I am the one who would have faded into the darkness if I didn’t begin to take myself as a priority. I am beginning to learn that the only opinion that could make or break me is my own. I have learned that every scar that I have had to endure has molded me into the amazingly beautiful woman I am today. Even recently I became an ambassador for this waist bead line by Natural Monet; now let me tell you, her beads are absolutely stunning. They were easy to put on, easy to retain, and she gave you tips on how you could keep them for an even longer time period.

Now I love these waist beads, I find them really empowering. I feel really beautiful with them on, I think my body looks beautiful with them on as well. These waist beads are showing me the beauty in the parts of my body I used to hate. Even though over time looking at my body naked has become a lot easier, but the fact that I have gotten to the point where I can look at my body on a camera and admire it makes me cry. With all the knowledge and memories of the pain that I had to endure because of my struggle to love myself this is a very big accomplishment for me. For me to be able to finally see the beauty within myself makes my heart warm.

I am so proud of how far I have come; this journey has not been an easy one to say the least. I have had to struggle and go through a lot of pain to get here. In fact, being on crutches for eight months was another eye opener for my self love journey. So, for all of my beautiful woman whether you are tall or short, thick or skinny, or if you like modesty or being able to show off some skin. The journey to love yourself won’t be easy and it won’t be a quick fix. No matter what you decide to do, or how you decide to empower yourself just know that the only opinion that can make or break you is your own. Know that you aren’t the only one going on this journey and that there are many others out there who are searching to find and love themselves too. I hope you guys continue to walk down the path to selfdiscovery and find everything that you are searching for.

As always, it’s amazing talking with you guys, I hope that I was able shed some light on a problem within our community. Whether this information retains to you or not, there is someone out there searching for this. Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay true to yourself. I’ll talk to you guys soon, bye.

Lucky D. Out!